An Atheist Professor of Philosophy Maam Tutor was speaking to his Class on the Problem Science has with GOD, the ALMIGHTY. He asked one of his New Christian Students to stand and . . ..
Professor : You are Christian, aren't you?
Student : Yes, sir.
Professor : So, you Believe in GOD ?
Student : Absolutely, sir.
Professor : Is GOD Good ?
Student : Sure.
Professor : Is GOD ALL - POWERFUL ?
Student : Yes.
Professor : My Brother died of Cancer even though he Prayed to GOD to Heal him.
Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill.
But GOD didn't. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?
(Student was silent )
Professor : You can't answer, can you ? Let's start again.
Is GOD Good?
Student : Yes.
Professor : Is Satan good ?
Student : No.
Professor : Where does Satan come from ?
Student : From . .. . GOD . . .
Professor : That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this World?
Student : Yes.
Professor : Evil is everywhere, isn't it ? And GOD did make everything. Correct?
Student : Yes.
Professor : So who created evil ?
(Student did not answer)
Professor : Is there Sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness?
All these terrible things exist in the World, don't they?
Student : Yes, sir.
Professor : So, who Created them ?
(Student had no answer)
Professor : Science says you have 5 Senses you use to Identify and Observe the World around you.
Tell me, son .. . . Have you ever Seen GOD?
Student : No, sir.
Professor : Tell us if you have ever Heard your GOD?
Student : No , sir.
Professor : Have you ever Felt your GOD, Tasted your GOD, Smelt your GOD?
Have you ever had any Sensory Perception of GOD for that matter?
Student : No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.
Professor : Yet you still Believe in HIM?
Student : Yes.
Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol,
Science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?
Student : Nothing. I only have my Faith.
Professor : Yes, Faith. And that is the Problem Science has.
Student : Professor, is there such a thing as Heat?
Professor : Yes.
Student : And is there such a thing as Cold?
Professor : Yes.
Student : No, sir. There isn't.
(The Lecture Theatre became very quiet with this turn of events )
Student : Sir, you can have Lots of Heat, even More Heat, Superheat, Mega Heat, White Heat,
a Little Heat or No Heat.
But we don't have anything called Cold.
We can hit 458 Degrees below Zero which is No Heat, but we can't go any further after that.
There is no such thing as Cold.
Cold is only a Word we use to describe the Absence of Heat.
We cannot Measure Cold.
Heat is Energy.
Cold is Not the Opposite of Heat, sir, just the Absence of it.
(There was Pin-Drop Silence in the Lecture Theatre )
Student : What about Darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as Darkness?
Professor : Yes. What is Night if there isn't Darkness?
Student : You're wrong again, sir.
Darkness is the Absence of Something
You can have Low Light, Normal Light, Bright Light, Flashing Light . . .
But if you have No Light constantly, you have nothing and it's called Darkness, isn't it?
In reality, Darkness isn't.
If it is, were you would be able to make Darkness Darker, wouldn't you?
Professor : So what is the point you are making, Young Man ?
Student : Sir, my point is your Philosophical Premise is flawed.
Professor : Flawed ? Can you explain how?
Student : Sir, you are working on the Premise of Duality.
You argue there is Life and then there is Death, a Good GOD and a Bad GOD.
You are viewing the Concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure.
Sir, Science can't even explain a Thought.
It uses Electricity and Magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one.
To view Death as the Opposite of Life is to be ignorant of the fact that
Death cannot exist as a Substantive Thing.
Death is Not the Opposite of Life: just the Absence of it.
Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your Students that they evolved from a Monkey?
Professor : If you are referring to the Natural Evolutionary Process, yes, of course, I do.
Student : Have you ever observed Evolution with your own eyes, sir?
(The Professor shook his head with a Smile, beginning to realize where the Argument was going )
Student : Since no one has ever observed the Process of Evolution at work and
Cannot even prove that this Process is an On-Going Endeavour,
Are you not teaching your Opinion, sir?
Are you not a Scientist but a Preacher?
(The Class was in Uproar )
Student : Is there anyone in the Class who has ever seen the Professor's Brain?
(The Class broke out into Laughter )
Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's Brain, Felt it, touched or Smelt it? . . .
No one appears to have done so.
So, according to the Established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol,
Science says that You have No Brain, sir.
With all due respect, sir, how do we then Trust your Lectures, sir?
(The Room was Silent. The Professor stared at the Student, his face unfathomable)
Professor : I guess you'll have to take them on Faith, son.
Student : That is it sir . . . Exactly !
The Link between Man & GOD is FAITH.
That is all that Keeps Things Alive and Moving.
As I was in the process of coming up with a concept for an artwork I wanna submit to POP (Perfect on Paper) I started to realize a lot of things. First, that art requires nothing less than excellence. My supervisor Ryan had told me, though indirectly, that my design was "plain". In MY language that meant, "ordinary". There was that hesitance in his face when he said that, coupled with a few shrugs and a few seconds of "thinking" silence which I have interpreted as something "un-negative". Emphasis on the prefix "UN", meaning, it's neither negative nor positive. And I knew that he did not say that to criticize or to insult, but he was simply perplexed, knowing that there's something missing. He said that I needed to let myself explore more on the possibilities design-wise. And when I look at my work, he's right. There was something missing. And my designs are indeed "plain". And yeah, that meant ordinary. Back to that artwork I was trying to compose, I can't seem to think of a concept or a theme that I wanna put in there. Which brings us to my second realization. That making art actually means making a statement that is subtle enough to be beautiful and yet having that heightened level of clarity that makes people understand what it is exactly you want to say. And my workmate Christian had made me realized that. As I looked at his studies, which were supposed to be rough sketches of the possible artwork he wanted to submit for POP, I noticed how clean his pencil strokes were, like every soft line on his "crosshatches" mattered. I've never sketched like that. I do rough sketches, but usually, they're just that…"rough". Besides that, I've also noticed how each piece did convey a very strong message, like it was almost a slap on my face. I said to myself, waw, this guy is a real artist. I've seen works of art and appreciated it, I've heard about artists doing this and doing that but I never realized how blissful it is to look at a piece of art and then converse face to face with the artist. It was just at that moment when I was talking to him that I've realized that art goes beyond than just using the perfect medium or drawing the perfect anatomy, but it's about "speaking up" by using images, and it doesn't matter what medium you use. What matters most in the end is the message. Thirdly, I've realized that nothing in this world is "timed". Do not rush into things and take your time in making those "brush strokes" on life which is your blank canvas. I've become accustomed to timing every action I make due to my experience in the call center. But maybe, now that I'm working as an artist, I should just lay back and start working at my own pace. My final realization is that maybe my artworks have been so bland it's because I have been "too safe". Too afraid to experiment. And that includes my emotions. Maybe I should let out whatever it is I have been suppressing. And pour out a whole bucket of paint on the "canvas". Who knows, I might actually come up with an excellent piece of art! I'm learning to love art more and more. And I don't only discover something new about my craft, I'm also learning more and more about myself. Hopefully I would also learn more and more to let loose and unwind my soul. But right at this moment, I can say that I'm at a very high level of contentment. So much so that I'm finding myself in a place where I don't need or want anything more(for now at least). I dunno if it will last but I'm just so thankful that I've reached this point.
It's been a week now since I've started my new job as a graphics artist. I still haven't gotten over the fact that I'm now working as a real artist. I have a smile extending towards the back of my head, and I just can't stop talking about my new work, new office mates and the new work place.
On my first day of work, I sat in front of my very own desk…yes…MY VERY OWN…with a matching 3 shelf cabinet and my very own little office space with enough room for me to sketch and place random clutters on it without people touching it or telling me to clear it out, and of course I got to work with my very own computer with a fairly huge monitor (I'm supposed to have dual monitors but it's not setup yet) which I get to turn on in the morning and shut down when I leave the office coz no other filthy hands' get to touch it but mine! Best of all, I'm the administrator of my own workstation, where I could surf, download, and chat all I want. And with that I have realized that the company trusts that we're going to do what we ought to do because we love what we do, and that in as much as they wanted us to focus on our work, they didn't want to set the limits, because by setting limits for us, they would also be limiting our creativity as artists, and creativity just happens to be the artist's most valuable commodity.
I toured the whole office and everyone had that genuine welcoming smile, I also noticed that every desk is personalized and most of them either had sketchbooks on them or posted papers that had all sorts of gibberish from random scribbles to design concepts to elaborate artworks. I thought, "waw…these people are artists…just like me!"
My immediate supervisors started orienting me with the kind of work I'd be doing and what I'd have to go through in the next few weeks. I was just so pleased at how detailed their explanations were, how detailed they wanted me to be with my outputs, giving me the impression that in this line of work, there are no shortcuts, and that every misplaced pixel is an eyesore(literally speaking and this is NO hyperbole!). They lectured me about stuff that were both technical and artistic, but what impressed me most is that they both know what they're talking about. I said to myself…"waw…finally…I'm talking to someone about something I'm interested to learn about…and what's cool about it is that they're better than me! These people can ACTUALLY teach me things that I haven't learned YET!"
I was there, standing in the middle of the office and then things suddenly went slo-mo. I then againsaid to myself "hey this is it, this is the place where I truly belong. A field where I would like to excel in and flourish as an artist. Where I get to interact with people who actually speak my language. " At the end of the day, I got to leave the office with a big smile and a deep sigh of relief…"finally…"
There are many truths in this life and one of them is that, nothing in this world could truly be explained. Explanations are merely fabricated to help man go on with his ever complex life.
I've heard quite a few people saying that they didn't like the movie all that much because it was rather unrealistic. But I would say otherwise. The plot couldn't be less real than a monochromatic caterpillar transforming into a colorful butterfly or the seasons changing from summer to winter. Sure, science had given us explanations as to when these phenomenon will occur or how. But science, no matter how rapid it shall advance in the coming years, or no matter how sophisticated it will become, it shall never be able to provide us the answer to the inevitable question…"why?" Sure we may try to explain it, but we'll simply end up becoming a child asking a never ending loop of inquiries.
Unusual and inexplicable events may come into our lives and will change the way things were. It's inevitable and often times we may think that they all happen at random. Often times too it will flame us up in anger, sometimes leading us to self destruction. We think and think, in desperate attempt to come up with the most logical explanation as to how this event could have happened. But the real answer we really need was to the question "why" it happened. In life, you can't do rewind or fast forward, and like Benjamin Button, though he aged backwards, he still needed to live life day by day in a sequence, make decisions and had to wait for the consequences to unfold in the manner that it's supposed to. Therefore, when you find yourself in a situation where everything seems to be leading towards the wrong direction, just stop. Stop thinking and stop trying to come up with an explanation. Just let things take its own course and follow it blindly. Just hope, pray and then in time, hopefully you will find the answer to the "why" question that we all so desperately desire.
Truth is, each entity in this universe that has life, or lack thereof, is a mystery that no science could ever explain. And that makes the curious case of Benjamin Button more in touch with reality than any other movie I've ever seen (so far). There are many truths in this life and one of them is that, nothing in this world could truly be explained. And I've just recently learned that we're not really here to explain life…we're here to live it. So let's just all stop explaining and live.
-La vie n'est pas toujour façile!-
Just before the year ended, resentments were let out like a wild circus lion. It has built up and finally it burst. People got hurt and truths were unleashed. We were all caught off-guard, some people acted on impulse and some remained silent. Some people were too frank and some were not totally honest to be tactful. It was by far, one of the major bumps on our road.
What I have learned in this occasion is that people are people. Everyday in itself is a struggle, and seeing oneself in the mirror is another struggle altogether. The self is a warzone wherein the truth and the lies are in a constant war. And fighting alongside the lies or denial makes things easier. Put simply, it is never easy to change for the better. It's never meant to be easy in the first place, and people can rarely deal with this sort of change on their own. That is why we have friends to help us survive.
We've been wronged and we've done wrong. And sometimes, the best thing to do to correct the wrong is to admit that we are wrong and we are always willing to make things right. Apologies are there to deal with the hurt. Note that it is used to "deal" with the hurt. Not to get rid of it. Hurting is after all still part of the process of growing as a person. Because hurting gives way to healing and healing gives way to learning and learning makes us become better people.
Lele was right, at the end of the day, we're all friends. At the end of the day, we should all still be friends. Whether we like to admit it or not, we all made a difference in each other's lives. Somewhere along the way, we could have thought that our lives could have been easier without one or the other, but truth is, we wouldn't have chosen to live without them. That is because we have learned to live with the flaws, and at the end of the day, we're all friends. And no bump on the road's going to change that.
I was just googling something, and I stumbled upon this blog...I dunno kung kinsa nag post ani pero probably myembro sa alta. I though i'd repost kay cute....brings back memories sa mga kapalpakan sa mga tao...hahaha.
doint spoil" - Ralph Jude Ibanez
"pila pa ka taod?" - Mae Ann Tan
"500 lusis (losses)" - Benjamin Burdeos
"heverlong" - Mary Joy Esclamado
"SeryoJose" - Ralph Jude Ibanez
"chuck norris! (chuck taylor) - Francis Bugaoan
"ITneo" - Tyronn Mar
"keps (keks) - Thyron Kyle Lagman
"keks matiryal" - Tyronn Mar
"shakura" - Mary Joy Esclamado
"Mr. Cheps" - Benjamin Burdeos
"sigsuon" - Thyron Kyle Lagman
"unsa kang clats?" - Stephanie Azarias
"unsa akong isearch? thyron lagman?" (gipangita niya ang palpakerz na site) - Ralph Jude Ibanez
Posted by palpakerz at 10:50 PM 3 comments
Sunday, January 20, 2008
more palpakerz..
"dwinwid! (Dwayne Wade) - Tyronn Mar
"tep? asa si teptep?" - Benjamin Burdeos
"no coordination" - Lemuel Clark Camayang
"F#M" - Benjamin Burdeos
"ayokong idikit!" - Mae Ann Tan
"Burdios" - jersey ni benjie
"muadto pa ko ug skwela" - Wilson Morales
"Carrie Anderson" - Donnabelle Embodo
"act normally.. (w/ hand signals)" - Lemuel Clark Camayang
"Kudz" - Oscar Gepulla
"unsa diay nang 'babes' kwarto nako?" - Gherald Jhun Pancho
"wa koy labot maski magbaha pa ug luha dra" - Stephanie Azarias
"til-as lang na" - Thyron Kyle Lagman
"Kinsang B****!?!" w/ tuok ky shyn - Stephanie Azarias
"no coordination" - Lemuel Clark Camayang
"Put*ang Inang Burdeos" - Mr. Calotes
"JOY!!!" - Ma'am Olmedo
yan lang muna.. xD
why palpakerz?
a blog to reminisce those funny moments in our lives..
"ani kadaghan akong problema" -Alain Pedronio
"ang aus na gamit sa juggernorth ky butterfury"
- Christian Lada
"past + present = prast" - Benjamin Burdeos
"tulo pa ka shat bai" - Ralph Jude Ibanez
"walang silbi, itapon!" - Thyron Kyle Lagman
"biyansi" - Tyronn Mar
"17 enches petsa" -Francis Bugaoan
"ako ba diay niduol?" - Wilson Morales
"I think I'm drank" - Kristel Magnaye
"pila pa kadugay mu abot sa kaputian?" - Mae Ann Tan
"Jason! (Jc + Wilson)" - Gherald Jun Pancho
"Alainmango" -Benjamin Burdeos
"uh ler, palunga ang aircon ler uh uh" -Gherald Jun Pancho
"pwede?" - Alain Pedronio
"dili" - Mary Joy Esclamado
"miss order ko ug barbarian filled, chokowits ug mantskins"
- Christian Lada
"tae, may pa gi RF" - Thyron Kyle Lagman
"usha pa lurr" -Alain Pedronio
"i feel so cold" - Dirk Darrel Tiu
"ikaw lang isa?" - Gherald Jun Pancho
"unsa ko pokemon, mu evolve?" -Shynne Vie Dinopol
"Mustang Sally!" - Lemuel Clark Camayang
"stun lain!" - dota boys
"I am Ligend" - Francis Bugaoan
"el magnipples morales" - Benjamin Burdeos
"jjamppong" - Thyron Kyle Lagman
"ogostoberian!" - Wilson Morales
" js! js! js! (acronym for God Strength) - Francis Bugaoan
"kinsa man ka ponchus pilatuha ka?" - Shynne Vie Dinopol
"lingkod ra gud lain! annoying na kaayo ka!" - Mario Pison Jr.
"na punk'd si carmen?" - Stephanie Azarias
"tatawag tayo ng pulis because she stole my heart away"
- Thyron Kyle Lagman
"let's give them a warm of applause" - Chris Denopol
"mag isip sa ko" - Jennifer Joy Aleria
"ayaw nag isip2 dra kay mawala ang humot" - Gherald Jun Pancho
"buhat ta ug theories kung ngano mahubog ang mga tao"
- Donnabelle Embodo
"I'm sorry I've ruined your life" - Alain Pedronio
"Red Horse ka? (Red Cross)" - Thyron Kyle Lagman
"P*tang Ina! (Dirk left keys in car)" - Dirk Darrel Tiu
"there could be alot of people who can criticization you"
- Mario Pison Jr.
"tend to be" - Lemuel Clark Camayang
"sori bai" - Renjay Avila
"Someday you'll be mine.." - Alain Pedronio
"Alain Pedronioow pedronioow pedronioow" - Gherald Jun Pancho
 After about 2 weeks of designing, animating and coding, I finally finished putting up my online portfolio. Url is stillthe same www.thedraftbeerinitiative.co.nr. Ignore the ads please, ehehhe, I'm just utilizing a free web host.
Last night I talked to a friend and I have been wallowing about the things I hate about this guy at work named Jess. He's a fellow trainee who talks too much for a guy, has a funny voice, and drools too much whenever a cute chick comes his way. I hated his guts. But one of the things I have realized last night is that one of the reasons that I hate this guy is that he is stealing the spotlight from me (not that I'm a Hollywood star or something like that). But what he's doing at training is what I used to do back in college. Cracking jokes while the professor is talking, people laughing at my jokes, and having the ability to let people know that I can be good at what I do, best even. And last night, the other guys from work are talking about him (while he is not there) as if he were some "Golden Calf". What I was feeling all boils down to JEALOUSY. I am utterly insecure, and I feel like I am very helpless. It's like, there's simply nothing I could ever do to be better than him. Maybe because this is not the job where my best assets fit.
But you know what? Today I have realized that maybe, I was just too PROUD. And I always thought that wherever I go, I'll always fit in and stand out. I have learned that maybe, it's time for me to step out of that "spotlight" and be back stage, helping out the one in the spotlight. So, I have decided that starting on Monday, I shall go up to him, shake his hands and pat his back, not because I am forced to but because I recognize his talents, and that he is actually good at what he does which makes him deserving of my commendation. If I was in the "spotlight" before, then I give back the favor by giving the spotlight to someone else. In this case, to Jess. So, with all sincerity, I wish him the best, and hope that he'll reach his dreams because he deserves it. ;-D
La vie n'est pas toujours facile...
 | Changes | Feb 1, '08 11:17 PM
for everyone |
Life is full of clichés and one of them is "Change is inevitable". It is true that people leave and some get left behind. It's not really a question of who gets to leave and who gets left behind. It's a question of how long before one has to leave, and the reason for the so-called "leaving". But whatever the reason behind, it all leads to changes. Just a few months ago, I got left behind…but then just a few days ago, I had to leave myself. Whether you're the one who gets left behind, or you're the one who leaves, the pain never changes…it's all the same. But there's only one way out…dealing with the pain. As the song goes…"Time may change me But I cant trace time". (David Bowie-Changes)
I miss my mom's home cooked meal, I miss the dinner conversations about religion and politics with my dad and I miss the petit and severe arguments with my little brother. They're just a few of those that I miss. Missing is painful. It breaks my heart each time I realize that all I could ever do is think of them and not being able to talk to them, eat dinner with them, hug them…And what's even painful is realizing that they too miss you. It becomes even more painful when you learn to move on, and know that someday, the people you missed so much learns to move on too…without you.
Yes, change is inevitable. The pain may walk away just like a fine summer day, but one thing remains the same and perpetual…love. Wherever you go, for whatever reason, and pain may come and go with each passing of life's chapters, and change may occur every so often, but "love" will leave a permanent mark on your soul, reminding you that there's ALWAYS a home to come HOME to...
La vie n'est pas toujours facile...
Hi y'all! It's been quite a while since I've posted something here in multiply. Well, I've been really busy refining my "craft". hehe. As part of my being "serious" with ART, I've decided to acquire a new skill, in addition to my sketching skill and 3d modeling skill. I figured it would greatly benefit my 3d skill mostly particularly in composition and texturing. It's digital painting, hence the blog title... ;-D I thought it shall also help me come up with new concepts without having to go through the whole 3d modeling stage. So, that way, I get to see the look-and-feel of my concept even before I model it maya.  The image you see above is entitled "The Window". This is my very FIRST digital painting. The last time I painted was when I was in my SOPHOMORE YEAR...nope, not college...HIGHSCHOOL. Hahha. This painting was done in Corel Painter X and effects, color correction and details were added in Photoshop. This painting was really unplanned. It was just supposed to be a STUDY of the human eyes. I was just trying to see if I could paint realistic human eyes in Painter X using just a mouse. Yep, you heard it right...a mouse! No drawing tablet (since i can't really afford one right now...at least not the good ones). And I also discovered that I can make better strokes using a TRACKBALL mouse than an optical mouse. So, that's what I've used in the entire painting process. It took me 3 days (3 hours per day, total of 9 hours) to finish this painting since it was not planned and all. Which means, I just sat in front of my laptop, started painting, and see what comes out. No sketch whatever. None the less I'm still very happy with the outcome. Of course it could use a lot of improvements but I could only do so much on my FIRST painting.
Yesterday, I did a little doodling on my lil old sketch book. And I'm coming up with a new digital painting out from the sketch I did yesterday. I'm giving it the title "Aswang". Hopefully I'd finish it in a few days.
In the beginning, there was only God. He was a happy God. He wanted to see how his smile looks like, so he created a mirror. He held it up to his face and he saw beauty. He knew how perfect and how beautiful he is, and he is even more happy seeing himself in the mirror. However, it was not the image of him that he wanted to see. So, within the vastness of the void around him he commanded, "Let there be light!" And so there was light. He created the universe, all creatures great and small, and then he created man of whom he was greatly pleased. Man propagated to the 4 corners of the earth. It was just the mirror that God dreamed to glance at. At first, they gave a pretty accurate reflection of God's appearance, and he was happy for a while. But then a certain corrupting force came to distort his image on the mirror. He was called the DEVIL. With his vain and envious nature, he wanted to see his own image on the MIRROR that God himself created. God's most beautiful smile reflected on the mirror started to fade. God knew he had to do something, so he shed a single drop of tear and dropped it into the mirror. The TEAR took the form of a man, and he was called "Immanuel". The TEAR made a ripple on the mirror, and it restored God's reflection on it. Once more, God can see his beautiful smile on the mirror, and he was happy…for a while. Months ago, frustrations came rushing into my life that I was just about to drown. I had always perceived myself as an optimist. And I have tried desperately to convince myself that there's something "great" waiting for me "out there". But it came to a point where I began to think that no amount of optimism could ever help me pull through. The first of the "set" of catastrophes that TRIED to sweep off my optimism was my inability to finish college "on time". Yes, I was upset because this was not the "four years later" transition I had in mind when I re-entered college. I was imagining the kind of "four years later" transition that one sees in movies like "legally blonde", where in one scene the lead actress was a good-for-nothing dumb blonde, and then four years later, voila! She graduated top of her class! Yes, failing myself is a bummer, but what's even more upsetting is that I let my mom down for the nth time! When I delivered her the news, she just looked at me without saying a word, but her eyes said it all. And it said, "it's ok, just try again." I was never raised to be "mellow dramatic", and neither was she, but at that moment, hers was the greatest contribution to my heart's wrecking. Her kindness just made me realize that there's nothing for me to prove anymore, it's because I've proven myself already…to be a sheer and perpetual FAILURE. I'm simply the greatest failure the world has ever known. Since then I started to loose faith in myself and in effect, I also began to loose faith in God. Months passed and I have surpassed most of the trials and it is only recently that I feel like writing about my realizations brought about by my SEEMINGLY catastrophic experience. And one of the important lessons I have learned is that God is always present in any situation in everyone's life. You may not hear him answering your questions or requests, but rest assured, there's ALWAYS an answer…and it often comes in the most unconventional manner. Last summer, while all of my friends left for another city to start their lives in the "real world", I was left in the university like a stranger that "don't matter" all over again, I felt like I should do something that would take my mind off my miseries. I felt like I should do something that will make me feel useful. So, I joined this short film competition. Amidst my dark and gloomy mind those days came a ray of hope. I said to myself, "maybe this is it…this is the reason why I got left behind. God wanted to point me to the right direction." It was the very first thing I ever took seriously in my life. I was so determined to give it my best shot, I said, "I'm going to win this competition, no matter what." Yes, I have joined the same competition a couple of years before but what made that particular competition different was that I felt like it was the only "saving grace" I got. I prayed, day and night, and every chance I got. I prayed for a brilliant idea, I prayed for patience, and I prayed for success. And each time I prayed, I told God I'm doing it for him. I told him that I will relay whatever message he wants to deliver through me, through my movie. He granted me a brilliant idea that even my competitors appreciated. He granted me patience that even when it was raining hard and I needed to shoot a sunny scene, I waited for the skies to clear. But what he didn't grant me was success, which mattered most to me at that time. I finished the film, but the outcome didn't match the one I had envisioned. It ended up as though it were another failure. My team didn't make it to the top 6 in the competition, we remained at the top 9 out of 30 finalists. No matter how I tried to convince myself that I didn't fail, I still can't help but believe that I did fail…and God failed me. But as I reached the denouement of my frustration, I began to realize that when I said "I AM DOING IT FOR GOD", the fact that I was angry at him because I felt like HE FAILED ME, I was not really doing IT FOR GOD, but I was really DOING IT FOR MYSELF. I felt ashamed it's because my own lie turned on me. I was not really trying to convince God that I was doing the film for him, I was trying to convince myself that I was doing it for him. As my frustrations further fades away, I got a glimpse of how God accompanied me in that journey. I found out that from the day I began conceptualizing the short film, till the last day of editing, he was with me. How? I was running out of ideas where to get my actors for the film, and I had limited budget. It was just 3 days before the first shooting day that I got the idea to get a differently abled person to play the main role. And then I met JOY. She was nothing like the girl I envisioned to be playing the main role of my film, but I thought, she's PERFECT for the role. I just knew that the reason why I never envisioned putting someone like her into the film is that she was just too BRILLIANT for my creative sense to conceive. And what even struck me about her is that despite her lacks, she had this unfading smile on her face that will give any person the impression that no matter what happens, she'd still have that smile on. As I got to know him more, when we started filming, I found out that who she REALLY is transcends that SMILING FACE. She has that distinguished strength in her that puts US all behind her. The strength she showed me, gave me strength as well. Back then, I didn't feel that God was trying to appease my struggling soul, maybe because my mind was busy focusing on the film I was trying to put up. But today, I kept reminiscing those days. I wish I had been more aware that I was experiencing God's active participation in my life first hand and that I was so lucky it's because not all person get's to experience and realize that. None the less, I am still very happy, it's because now my trust in the higher being called God is stronger than ever. Remember when I tried to pray to God that I would relay whatever message he wanted me to deliver and that I wish him to grant me success? Weeks after I found out that we didn't make it to the top 6 in the competition, I went to the rehabilitation center for the handicapped where Joy resides to give her a copy of the short film. She showed it to the other handicapped residents, then she was excited to tell me that even the nuns were touched by the movie. Knowing that I have touched people's hearts, regardless of the number, I began to feel light and happier. My frustrations were single handedly crushed. Now I know that everything I prayed for were granted to me by God. Even success! I may not have succeeded by winning the competition, but I won a prize greater than any competition could ever grant, the hearts of the people I've touched and most of all, honor. God wanted me to deliver a message, and he didn't only relay it through my short film. The fact that you are reading this part of my blog already probably means that I got the message through. :-D
If you still haven't watched the shortfilm that I did last summer, and you're just a tad curious...check out my multiply videos...you'll find it there.
Let me tell you what I've learned about how THINGS occur in this universe. How success or failure manifest. I have discovered that a certain person can ONLY succeed in whatever it is that he or she does if his or her WILL is ALIGNED with God's WILL. I know that you've probably heard this a hundred times before. Some might just give it an indifferent shrug and then walk away. But, I bet most of you starts popping out the question, "how the heck do I know God's will". Well, finding out is really simple. In whatever you do, whether or not you like it, big or small, easy or hard, ALWAYS, give it your BEST shot. Exert your UTMOST WILL if you must. If you succeed despite the hardship and the hesitations, then it means God WILLED it too. As I've said, SUCCESS can only occur when your will is ALIGNED with God's will. Deduced in a simple mathematical equation, we have YOUR WILL + GOD's WILL = SUCCESS. If either of the components fall short, then there's no way success shall occur. We have to understand that whatever happens, God still makes the decision. This does not however, he will intervene every chance he gets. God, although he's got every right and power to do as he pleases, he will not DISRESPECT our FREE will. What he wants us to do is to ALIGN our plans to HIS plans. And when the convergence of his will and our will occurs, then success occurs. I know that a lot of people are still in the "proving God's existence" stage. But regardless of your belief in God's existence, regardless of the religion you have or regardless of how you call that FORCE that drives the universe (God, destiny, karma, etc.), it won't cease to exist. You may deny it all you wantbut that FORCE will continue to exist. And there's no way you can be in control of your own life, or that precious component of life called FREEWILL will cease to exist unless you know the "mechanics" of the "game". And what I have written herein may only be partly true or may not be entirely correct, but just as sure as there is a LAW of Physics, there are certainly, what I'd like to call "LAWs of life". Each day is a new chance for us to go out there and discover what they are. ;-D This day marks the beginning of my journey as an artist. As I have mentioned before, I've always been involved with art even before I knew what the word ART really meant. But being an ARTIST entails a decision. A decision has to be made by an individual to pick the right path prior to the beginning of his journey. I pick ART as my path, and today, I decide to call myself an ARTIST. Today, I pick up my pencil, I pick up my sketchbook, pack up my back pack filled with dreams smudged with graphite and paint. Today, ART becomes my LIFE, and my LIFE becomes my ART. I am an ARTIST. And I never imagined that by merely calling myself that with bring such overwhelming happiness. Who is the ARTIST? I have realized that an artist is a traveler. He has no identity, but he has a soul. His soul is the very source of his art. And art is the very essence that gives him life. A true artist may PREFER a particular medium over another but the ART he can produce is NEVER LIMITED to ONE medium. That is because if one is an artist, he or she can whip ART out of virtually anything…be it a scrap of metal, a sheet of glass, a blob of paint, chunks of words, a sway of the hips, a whistle of the vocal cords or a stroke of graphite. An artist will always be an artist. He or she may come with many nick names…a poet, a dancer, a painter, singer…but an artist comes only with one name…ARTIST. I have realized that the artist is a traveler, and ART is the road he is traveling on. Art...according to me. Art are recreations of certain pieces that make up reality, and then put together by the artist to reveal a tangible or perceivable representation of the his soul. EXERCISING the ability to create ART is also bringing out the GOD that is in us. Emphasis on EXERCISING, since all of us really has the ability to create ART. Recall that God created us in his own image and LIKENESS. Which means there is a part of us that is GOD. And our ability to RE-CREATE is certainly one of the God characteristics or what I'd like to call a God seed that he planted in us. What most of us probably don't know is that by creating ART, we are pleasing God. It is a higher form of WORSHIP. It is because creating ART is PRAISING that which is existent, recognizing that it is an ARTWORK of God, and by sewing pieces of recreations based on these existing artworks, we come up with something NEW and that NEW ART is in a way a CONTINUATION of God's CREATION process. Therefore, we can really also see art as a continuing CREATION process, but the only difference is that we are participating in it. "God rested on the seventh day", as said in the bible. Yes, he must have rested on the seventh day, but the work didn't stop there. But we continued it for him. I'd like to share to you a poem written by an anonymous author that helped motivate me to NOT quit. I dunno if you've heard it or read it but I'm going to post it here today because I thought it might inspire you too. :-D DONT QUIT When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road your trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and its turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When they might have won, had they stuck it out.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow,
You may succeed with another blow.
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victors cup;
And he learned too late when the night came down,
How close he was to the golden crown.
Success is failure turned inside out
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when your hardest hit,
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit!
I just opened a new wordpress account where i would be posting my technical blogs. Primarily, blogs about my works-in-progress and maybe some Maya tips and tricks. This is one of the steps I'm taking towards improving my "CRAFT". I heard this nice song entitled Sophia (check it out in the latest album i created here) by Nerina Palot (pronounce d as Palow...i guess). It kind of inspired this new project of mine that I call by the same name...Sophia. Here's the concept/sketch that I did months ago.  I started modeling (3d) Sophia weeks ago. Still haven't finished modeling it since I'm new to low-resolution modeling/subdivision surface modeling. Sophia would be the first character i would be modeling in Maya using subdivision surface and sculpted using Mudbox. Anyways...enough of the technical bla blas and here are some sample renders of Sophia. This is the RAW, untextured model. I still have to put on skin texture and hair when I finish modeling. I have to warn you, there's nudity here...no kids are allowed to view the following images...char! Hahah.      I could never stress enough how BUMPY my RECENT ride was (which is really not the topic of today's blog so ama shut up about it...)! I struggled through unemployment and I was just a millimeter close to loosing my DREAM. But then also recently I made the most important and the most cruicial step of my life (so far)...getting a job...at a CALL CENTER. You see I have this ABILITY that makes me see what is about to happen to me, and when that event actually happens it's like I'm no longer surprized because I already knew. And this is one of those events I foresaw. I struggled...I wiggled...but then it just led me straight to the hole. No offense to US(US means WE...since I'm technically a call center agent now) call center agents but this isn't my dream job. Anyway, what I really didn't forsee is that there's going to be a reason behind all this and that this will actually be one of the vehicles that'll take me one step closer to reaching my dream...to become a CG artist!
I was desperate...I was willing to take any IT related job. And just thinking about doing CG as a profession is just slowly slipping away. It didn't matter where I'd work, just as long as it was IT related it's because I didn't wanna end up in a call center. It was like shooting blindly in the dark. I stopped...reflected...asked myself..."What would Einstein do???"...No! Not "WORK IN A CALL CENTER!!!" On second thought...it might just be the most brilliant thing to do for now. First, because I'm BROKE...as in not a PESO in my pocket. And my mom just couldn't emphasize enough how she would not support me in any way since it was me in the first place who DEMANDED to be INDEPENDENT. And so, I am independent...in the most sarcastic way she could ever mean. Companies from Manila called me for interviews but then as I've said, I'm broke. So, I can't go to Manila for the interviews, so I turned them all down even before I got the job offer...silly me. And now, the call center option comes in...the pay's not that good but it'll help me save up just a little, there's not much pressure on the job and there's really no need for me to take home left over work, best of all...i don't have to spend a dime to get relocated in another city! Since the contract is in effect for 6 months, I could save up at the same time take an online CG related course and brush up on my CG skills! Since I'd have to come up with a good Demo reel anyway to get a CG related job, I think working in a call center for 6 months while working on that demo reel wouldn't be such a bad idea!
I am determined now more than ever to chase after my dream. I've been dreaming of doing something like this as a profession since I was a kid. I didn't know how I could get there and back then technology wasn't as advanced and as sophisticated as today, but I had this gut feeling even back then that this was the exact path I am going to trudge in. Now that I at least have a glimpse of how to get THERE, I am more encouraged to make the right steps. It might actually take long for me to reach my dreams but I guess what's really important is GETTING there. No one ever said there's going to be a DEADLINE. If it's my destinty then it's my destiny.
I created my online portfolio a few weeks ago, which was good pero I wasn't too impressed with it so I re-did the whole thing and I just launched the new version of the Draftbeer Initiative this morning. Check it out. The url is http://www.thedraftbeerinitiative.co.nr. | To HER | Oct 17, '07 5:38 AM
for everyone |
Listen to me sing... coz words can lie and even my actions could never tell you the truth. But when I sing, you shall hear my soul speak. And I could never reveal the whole of me anymore than I could unfold myself to you through the simplest song. | |
